A Tale of Two Jets Fans

Fan 1: Hey dude, that was some shitty game last Thursday, huh?

Fan 2: Oh my god, that was awful.  Not only a loss but a really tough game to watch. Horribly played on both sides.

1: The Jets could have won that game.  They bit so hard on that play action fake on the TD to Aaron Dobson that it was basically a blown play.  They missed out on so many chances offensively.  It’s so frustrating.

2: It is, but at least it was close. Before the season started we had this pegged as a blowout.

1: It still sucks.

2: I know but c’mon, if I told you the Jets would be 1-1 with a 3 points loss to the Patriots by week 3 you would have taken that in a second.

1: That doesn’t make it suck any less.  I hate having that defeatist attitude all the time.

2: I think you’re making a big deal out of nothing.

1: I dunno, man, I’m getting so sick of this.  Games like these remind me of why it sucks being a Jets fan sometimes.

2: What do you mean?

1: It’s just living in a state of lowered expectations.  The greatest moments this team has had in the last 40 years are 4 gut-wrenching losses in the AFC Championship! It sucks being mentioned among the laughingstock franchises in sports all the time.  We have so many sucky moments.  The fake spike.  Mark Gasitneau’s steroid use, roughing the passer call, and entire career, which makes Bridgette Nielson intimately linked to our franchise.  We have a draft record so bad that ESPN made a special montage about it.  What about Rich Kotite, who I’ve been told to this day gets profanities screamed at him when he gets his mail.  How about Bubby Brister’s intercepted screen pass? Joe Namath wanting to kiss Suzy Kolber.  JOE FRIGGING NAMATH! Our icon, reduced to a bad punch line.  Rex Ryan going from trash talker who backed it up and changed the Jets culture to foot-loving, fetish tape-making, loudmouth goon who is mostly irritating! Tim Tebow! All I have to do is say his fucking name!

2: …yeah…

1. And the fucking Patriots! Belichek scribbles his resignation (HC of the NYJ) and leaves for New England.  We hurt Drew Bledsoe, and START THE FUCKING TOM BRADY ERA! ARE YOU KIDDING ME! WE HANDED BELICHEK AND BRADY TO THE PATRIOTS! Now we have to watch more than a decade of them dominating our division and be happy every time we play them and don’t get blown out?

2: That is pretty fucked up.

1.  It’s surreal.  If I wrote a sports movie with this shit in it no one would find it believable.  Sometimes everything just sucks.  It’s not even that we’re just bad.  We go through this roller coaster of expectations .  Win when we shouldn’t, lose when we shouldn’t.  We can’t even just be bad.  We have utter embarrassments.    For god’s sake, now we’ve got the Butt Fumble.  We couldn’t just go 6-10. It’s exhausting.

2.  You’re right! This is total bullshit! Isn’t this supposed to be fun? I mean, it’s for our “entertainment, right”?  I’ve been a fan since I was a fetus.  I’ve been loyal.  There’s thousands of us.  And this is what we get? If any other product was like this, would we keep consuming it? I’m done!

1: Well, let’s not get crazy…

2: No dude, you’re totally right.  I’m done.  Why am I doing this anymore?

1: Remember when we went to the game against the Packers when they won the division in that crazy three-way tie? Then we decimated Peyton Manning and the Colts. That was pretty cool. The end of the Chad Pennington run of 2003.  Huge buzz in the stadium.

2: Yeah that was cool.  And they’re only 2 years removed from being 5 points away from the Super Bowl.

1: What about when we went with our dads to the game against the Seahawks where Testeverde got that bogus TD and replay wasn’t around yet! Or that time we screamed obscenities at the Baja Men at halftime during a blowout.

2: (Laughs) That was awesome.  I think that was my favorite in-game moment.  That and when that guy spilled beer on me when I was 7 and my dad scared him and his friends into leaving the stadium.

1: (Laughs) That is amazing.  My dad lost his car in the parking lot when I was a kid and we wandered around for about an hour before we found it! It’s pretty hilarious in retrospect.

2: See, in their own way the Jets have been good to us.  Besides, we have to hang in there.  Look at what happened to the Red Sox, the Rangers, the Saints, and other teams.  They got their moment.  It’ll be that much sweeter when it happens.  We can’t bail on a team and then enjoy it’s success later.  Loyalty is rewarded.

1: Yeah, I think that’s true.  Their defense is still solid, and maybe Geno Smith is the answer.  Maybe Matt Simms is the answer, who the hell knows.

2: Stranger things have happened.

1: Let’s go watch the Yankee game.

2: Oh god, imagine if we were Mets fans too?

1: I don’t think I’d be able to take that.

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