Is there any doubt that if this happened today, SportsCenter would replay this for 12 straight hours.

Jack Black.  The Iron Sheik.

That is all.

Much Respect to Haiti.  You should have put Jables in the Camel Clutch!

Which is why it is incredibly interesting, that this man, this behemoth, this nightmare on the gridiron wants you to know that it’s all right to cry.

Free to Be You and Me.  And when Rosie Grier says “It’s all right to cry” what he really means is : “Start crying now!”

My favorite part about this whole thing is that Rosie Greer, who would know that he was supposed to block a certain person on a certain angle for a certain time and then murdertackle someone just by listening to certain letters and numbers shouted in order but did not know that when faking guitar you should strum and change chords!

But after a hard day of crying, Rosie thinks it’s important that you focus on your career and learn a trade.  Possibly needlepoint.

 

This. Man. Is. Terrifying. Wonderful.

Soccer Players are the biggest fakers.

Soccer Players don’t mess around

The fun starts at 39 seconds.  In what looks like a small time match, a referee is doing his thing and Yellow cards a player.  That player comes to debate him and puts his hands on the referee.  The referee in turn – punches the player with a light swooping punch.  He has no power coming from his core, it’s an arm and shoulder punch.

Do you all see that tiny moment of reaction when the player decides, in true Soccer fashion, that the hit should floor him?  His bullshit fake-o-meter is so finely tuned that he can’t even help but flop.  That’s why people can’t get into soccer in America because the flopping is so obvious.

But my favorite is – during the chase – because of course there is a chase, all of the players are attempting to kick him.  They throw wacky mid-air flying kicks like they are Liu freaking Kang.

But you’re going to tell me the NBA wouldn’t be 100000 times better if Dick Bavetta couldn’t throw a right cross to LeBron?

Welcome Back to another edition of YouTube Greatness.

Ladies and Gentlemen, there has been a dark cloud hanging over the NBA for nearly 20 years.  A conspiracy that rises all the way to the top.  The NBA has covered up an egregious scam, rivaling the entirity of the Tim Donaghy scandal.

Here I’d like to show you the Highlights of the 1993 NBA Slam Dunk Contest.  Or as I like to call it, The Time Cedric Ceballos Cheated Us All (but mostly Larry Johnson) Out Of The Championship.

Why do I call it that?

Because Cedric Ceballos freaking Cheated!

The Winning dunk saw Cedric don a blindfold, one-upping Dee Brown’s previous No Look Dunk, running down the court and dunking.

It was spectacular and true feat of athletic ability and muscle memory.

Except there is no way you can ever convince me that Cedric Ceballos couldn’t see.

The Proof?  at 3:21 of the Video Mr. Ceballos takes off for the basket, apparantley unable to see.

He takes off from the sideline beyond half court, on a trajectory that would take him about 8 feet to the (viewers) left of the basket.

At 3:22, As he reaches the top of the key he suddenly CHANGES HIS DIRECTION, angling DIRECTLY TOWARDS the basket.

At 3:23, the height of his villainy, Mr. Ceballos, dunks the basketball.

Blindfolded.

Horseshit.

If he couldn’t see (and whom, may I ask, inspected that Blind Fold?) then how the heck did he know where he was and when to change direction? It’s not as if he ran from the middle of Half Court and had to just count steps.  He ran and changed direction and ended up perfectly in the middle for a blindfolded dunk.

Completely impossible.

He could see.  The angle change is a dead give-away.  And having a former Dunk Contest Champion living a lie sets a horrible example for the children.  He should have been immediately disqualified.

Cedric Ceballos, abdicate your throne and give it to its rightful owner.

Larry Johnson was robbed.

Your move, David Stern

Here is our first installment.  Watch a young Deion Sanders run the fastest 40 of his life when out to breakfast with Mel Hall.

When I was just a young Sports-Lo, I owned the VHS that this came with “Pranks on the Pro’s” hosted by Jay Johnstone.  This was by far the highlight of the video.

Great little sidebar is Mel Hall stating that he would “like to be a scab linebacker” should the NFL go on strike.  If that ever happened today, it would be the lead on ESPN and Deadspin and Bleacher Report would have 5 different unedited lists about the “TOP 50 POTENTIAL SCAB LINEBACKERS.”

Share Tweet